Category: Other people with Autism

Diablogue #6: 

Helpful Hint: Use any and all resources, whatever works. Don’t disregard any method or action that could prove beneficial. The more tools you have in your toolbox, the easier it will be for all—spectrum or non-spectrum.

So, let’s diablogue:

Christina: Let’s talk about what we gained from the Temple Grandin talk February 22.

Ken: I agree. There were some very important points I would like to touch on here and expand upon in future posts.

Christina: I liked it when she said, “Focus on what they can do, not on what they can’t do.” Autism is often framed so negatively: “They can’t socialize, they can’t do this, they can’t do that.”

Ken: The result of all the negative feedback can create a sense of worthlessness, disconnection, and low self-esteem. In adults, these are all potential barriers to employment.

Christina: Yeah. Temple said most people with autism are underemployed—if employed at all.

Ken: I myself have been a victim of this process of negative reinforcement all through my working life.

Christina: She talked a lot about kids—since there were so many parents there. An autistic teenager in the audience said she was angry a lot. Temple told her, “You have to find out what’s triggering it…what’s making it happen.”

Ken: People often forget that tantrums, frustration, and anger often have a trigger—like a baby crying; there is always an underlying cause. Autistic people are hyper-susceptible to the environment and the stimuli around them. Therefore, they can instantaneously experience sensory overload and become overwhelmed.

Christina: Yes, we should “find the root” rather than just get caught up in the symptoms. But she also told parents to regularly move their children “out of their comfort zone—don’t throw them in the deep end of the pool, but stretch them.”

Ken: Our family and friends—God love them—are trying to overprotect us. They don’t realize that they will not always be there for us. We need to practice living independently for when we no longer have them as supports.

Christina: Right. She said her mother expected her to greet people at parties and later take a paper route. She said it was difficult, but she wouldn’t have gotten to where she is without that kind of pushing.

Ken: I remember her referring to a 13-year old autistic boy who never ordered his own food at McDonalds. His mother ordered for him. That’s a poignant example of robbing the boy of a chance to practice, in a safe environment, his social skills which will be essential for him in the future.

Christina: And that can lead directly to what Temple said were “kids who are underprepared, under-supported, and under-transitioned for employment”—especially because of problems in the last years of high school.

Ken: We need to discover, right in the beginning years of school, what students are interested in and what they’re good at, and then tailor their education to focus on what they can do. Enabling them to increase their chances to succeed and be better prepared to live a more productive and independent life.

Christina: That would be a good change for all students. Ok, for the last point I want to talk about the “pilot’s checklist.” Temple said that people on the spectrum need to have check boxes for jobs. They need tasks broken down into steps, “1,” “2,” “3” in linear order so as not to overload the short term memory.”

Ken: Yes. Even though a pilot has been a pilot for 40 years, before take-off, in order to perform the task accurately without missing essential steps that could have serious consequences, they refer to a checklist that never varies.

Christina: Lists, right. They’ve become an essential part of our life—even for ordinary things like shutting the blinds or kissing me goodnight.

 Ken: I agree, as I am realizing to my benefit. People with autism tend to have intense and narrow focus; we cannot multitask. If we are distracted from our current task, unlike most people, we often cannot remember where we left off. When the distraction is removed and we return to the original task, we become confused about where we are. We could end up missing crucial steps. That is why we need a pilot’s list.

Christina: Absolutely. So, next time we need to explain your formal speech patterns. Some folks are wondering about what you call your “Spock-Talk.”

 

Next post: Diablogue #7 – “Ken’s Spock Talk” (to attend to some previous comments)

Dialogue #5:

For anyone who may be unfamiliar with Temple Grandin, visit our Temple Grandin page and/or visit her Website: http://www.templegrandin.com and/or her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/drtemplegrandin/

Helpful Hint: Aspies need to change their point of perspective (get out of themselves) in order to understand their impact on non-autistic people. i.e: An Aspie should witness two other Aspies having an exchange in a social gathering of non-autistic people to see how s/he affect others.

 

So, let’s diablogue:

Ken: On February 22 we attended a presentation featuring Temple Grandin in Calgary. What is your assessment?

Christina: It was amazing. Remarkable. I had no idea what to expect. So cool how you two clicked.

Ken: Affirmative. I found it to be indicative of my actions to you as well as others. It was similar to a mirror being held up to me. For the first time, I was able to step outside of myself and see how I affect and cause effects upon my social world. Quite enlightening and liberating.

Christina: You got out-Aspied by an Aspie! Before we met her we both had thought that YOU wouldn’t be able to stop talking with her, you know… run on like you tend to do…

Ken: (interrupting and interjecting) Correct. I do not want to admit it; however, your statement concerning me is accurate.

Christina: (laughing) …so what was that like, for her to lock eye contact with you and get so excited and go on and on about you being an electrician and how high schools need to teach the trades again so Aspie kids can get more skilled work…all that? She didn’t let you get a word in edgewise. It was SHE who wouldn’t stop talking, not you.

 

Ken: Believe it or not it was thrilling, as now I have irrefutable data of what I am like. I have often been asked, “So what’s it like to be autistic”? To which I always counter, “I do not know as I have never been anything else. I would have to be able to step outside of myself–to observe myself in action– in order to accurately address your query.” Well, with Temple, I was able to observe myself by proxy. I have been made aware of how I barrage, overload and overwhelm you–as well as do other socially intense acts– you and what it is like for you.

Christina: Wow. Fascinating. Well, I found your two chats with her slightly embarrassing…actually, I liked it too…I mean, I was the wife of the lucky person Temple picked out to seriously engage with–of all the 1800 people there. But I was also a bit embarrassed because there were lineups and I had to tell the other people, “Uh, sorry…he’s also autistic … I guess they’re connecting!” And shrug. But overall it was kind of fun.

Ken: Query, what do you mean by “embarrassing”? For whom?

Christina: Embarrassing for me because I couldn’t stop you from taking up more than your fair share of Temple’s limited time. That’s the way those folks in line would have seen it–that you were hogging her time. It’s a social thing. A faux pas.

Ken: I was not embarrassed for myself, for you, for Temple Grandin or for the people in attendance. Aspies do not get embarrassed. Embarrassment is an emotion, and Aspies tend to be unemotional. We find emotions to be a distraction from the topic at hand. And what better than a live demonstration …

Christina: (interrupting and interjecting) … Live demonstration?

Ken: (focussed, and oblivious, carries right on) … and also, an important piece of data is to realize that everyone in attendance at this presentation, including but not limited to the participants, volunteers, sponsors, presenter and the attendees, were there because they have all been touched by autism in some manner. All had a vested interest, so I am sure my and Temple’s behaviour would not be foreign to them.

Christina: Ah.

Ken: I wish that when and if we ever do public speaking that we would have another autistic person on the dias so that people would get a live demonstration.

Christina: Good idea. Take some heat off me!

Ken: I believe that with a live demonstration, Aspies would see how their autism, their autistic children, siblings, friends, colleagues and/or their employer may react in certain situations in the future: intense and extremely focussed in socially inappropriate ways when their attention is captured.

Christina: True. Anyway, for me the whole evening–from meeting her before her talk, chatting with others, and her talk itself–were magical in some ways. She was so smart, witty, enthusiastic, caring–just really charming. She made me appreciate you more.

Ken: I thank you for that. Would you be in agreement with creating a two-part post to discuss the helpful hints, lessons, and information from her actual presentation?

Christina: Great idea.

Ken: So it is written so shall it be.

Next post: Diablogue #6 – “What We Discovered From Temple Grandin”