“Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome in particular, as a plot device: To use or not to use, that is the question! PART 1”

Diablogue #23

Note: This blog post was set to be published Oct. 22, but we got tangled up in its length and then, life intervened. We’re now publishing it as a two-part post, one today, one next week. Please comment—we value your thoughts, thank you for your understanding and support.

Christina and Ken diabloguing at the very nostalgic 99th Street Diner
Christina and Ken diabloguing at the very nostalgic 99th Street Diner

Helpful hint: We’re people, not plots.

Helpful aphorism: “Autism: Why plot against us?”

 

So, let’s diablogue

Ken: I surmise the pendulum of Autism awareness has swung from one end of the arc—obscurity—to the other end—to today’s buzz word.

Christina: Flavour of the month. Catch of the day. I agree; it seems to be all over the news and popular media.

Ken: This is human nature.

Christina: Yes. Something catches our attention, becomes “sexy,” then it’s everywhere.

Ken: I think some history is in order. Asperger’s Syndrome—now considered part of the autism spectrum—is named after Dr. Hans Asperger who diagnosed the difference between autism and Asperger’s in Austria in 1944. Asperger’s research remained virtually unknown or ignored until Dr. Lorna Wing’sAsperger Syndrome: A Clinical Account,” a 1981 academic paper that popularised the research of Hans Asperger and introduced the term “Asperger syndrome.” Since then, there has been a slow awareness, awakening, and acceptance of this very unusual physiological and cognitive difference. We’re almost normal, but quirky enough to be a curiosity….

Christina: …even attractive (laughs). Well, it’s attractive on the outside: loveably geeky, hilariously quirky, and endearingly different. Like the character Sheldon Cooper on The  Big Bang Theory television show. That is, until a non-autistic person lives up close and personal with an autistic and experiences all the realities of the different mixing brains—the frustrating communications, confounding contradictions, and the needs both ways that the other can never fully understand—and that won’t ever change. But yeah, autism seems to be ‘hot’ in popular media now. TV shows, talk shows, people ‘coming out,’ documentaries, blogs… and mainstream movies.

Ken: As well as posthumous diagnoses of famous eccentrics.

Christina: Yup. You know, in theatre and other arts, it’s the unusual, the unconventional characters or ways of thinking that draw our attention. That make us buy tickets and go to shows. We seem driven to wrestle with—or laugh at—-the people and ideas that push us to think differently. They make the best stories, the best characters. Asperger’s certainly fits with that.

Ken: And autism is my character. It’s who I am. You do not have to play the character if you are a character—

Christina: Explain that? You are playing a character?

Ken: Affirmative. Every day. I attempt to act ordinary, average, since that is the environment I live and work in. Performing “normal” is how I survive, socially, though it is tremendously draining.

Christina: For sure. We’ve talked a lot about that.

Ken: People appear to be fascinated and enthralled by the odd and quirky—which we call “eccentric” if the person is in some way famous or has a certain degree of celebrity.

Christina: That’s because from an evolutionary standpoint, it’s the divergent thinkers who move societies forward. Advance them. Push the others just enough outside of their comfort zones to help them discover things that make life easier or better—make us more likely to survive and thrive.

Ken: Agreed.

Christina: Remember, Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage and we are ALL merely players. Since he’s a posthumously diagnosed Aspie, that’s especially interesting. But I can see that for you, it’s certainly more obvious than for non-autistics. You know you are ‘playing’ a character in daily life. You work every day to play that “ordinary” character as well as you can—to not stick out, as you say. Non-autistics mostly deny they’re acting on the daily stage—though it’s true. We all perform “us” in hopes that others see and judge us how we want to be seen and judged. It’s ordinary social survival.

Ken: You know how we say that we judge a person by his or her character? That’s what I’m talking about. People use the word very generically, as in, “that’s in his character” or he or she “is a real character.”

Christina: And YOU are a version of the kind of characters that more and more producers are aiming to show in the plays and movies.

Ken: There is a quote I want to interject here: “To those who are willing, the gods will guide, to those who are unwilling, the gods will drag kicking and screaming.” Is it not interesting that the god of thespians is Janus, the two-faced god: happy and sad, comedy/tragedy— which is also a perfect exemplar of the binary nature of autism.

Christina: How so?

Ken: First, thespians are characters themselves as well as portraying characters who are often odd or at odds and/or eccentric, and their symbol is the comedy/tragedy faces—binary opposites. Like me. Like all autistic people. I would therefore propose that theatre is based upon autism.

Christina: Wow, that’s a cool claim. I wonder what theatre folks would think of that. I hope some comment.

Ken: This thought occurred me a long time ago.

Christina: Our point with all this is that autistics are popping up all over the place in media—writers and directors are using them as central characters, like x in y, or as plot devices. And that has two faces: the happy: autism gets talked about, normalized, even. And sad: autism gets misrepresented—not all autistics have superpowers!

Ken: Indeed. Next post I want to look at a trajectory of autism in the movies. One of the first covert examples was Star Trek, then later, we saw characters with obviously autistic traits but the word ‘austim’ was never used, and lately with autism clearly stated as a key—and both fortunate and unfortunate— attribute of a character. More realistic, I’d say, and a lot more helpful.

Christina: Ok.

 

Next post: ~ Autism— Asperger’s Syndrome in particular— as a plot device, Part 2. An exploration of Ken’s observation: “We were being used as a plot device even before Asperger’s Syndrome was even known.”

“Small Stuff to Big Stuff… and Back Again.”

Diablogue #22

Christina and Ken on our annual pilgrimage to visit the Chinese Amur Maple trees along 97th Street, Edmonton.
Christina and Ken on our annual pilgrimage to visit the Chinese Amur Maple trees along 97th Street, Edmonton.

Helpful hint: It won’t work without work.

 

So, let’s diablogue

Christina: This morning I woke up and thought we should talk about the very real thing that’s happening right now. Visceral. Personal. We’re working it out. So we should do it here. (Pause as Ken reads what I wrote.)

Wow, that’s taking a long time to read!

Ken: Right now, it’s taking all I have got to not think about the list of things on my mind that I just wrote out. I have to read your start to this blog entry three or four times to force it in.

Christina: OK. We’ll go slowly. Yesterday I made—with considerable effort—a big pot of homemade soup. Winter is coming, time to hunker down, time for soup. And I wanted healthy food around for the next few days. Then I had to go out for the evening—a girls’ night— and I asked: “Please could you find containers and put the soup away so we don’t get food poisoning!?” And you sighed. Looked annoyed. And that hurt.

Ken: On the drive to the girls’ night, you talked to me about it and explained what my reaction did to you, how it made you feel. As usual, due to my need for processing, there is a delay in setting things right. Especially at this time.

Christina: Yup. I got out of the car upset. But I know about these delays. I knew you’d need time to understand… and then we’d talk further about it.

Ken: I forced my mental cacophony to the side and wedged in some processing capacity to deal with this, as I sensed the immediacy. Shortly after dropping you off, I texted you and apologized.

Christina: I got the text and appreciated it. It’s normal for husbands to be a bit thick about noticing things, about appreciating small acts. But this incident has some different causes, Aspie roots. Once again, what things look like on the surface needed to be re-interpreted through the autism lens—to be fair.

Ken: What is happening is that I am reaching my capacity and becoming overloaded and overwhelmed. I am imminently facing a cascade failure. And it is starting to cause collateral damage and negative repercussions on my external surroundings and relationships. I believe that this is a result of a common Aspie trait: challenges with executive functioning. Prioritizing. I am often told, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” For me there is no small stuff or big stuff, just a lot of stuff.

Christina: Yes. 20 minutes ago, you pulled out a blank sheet of paper and scratched out a long list of things on your mind right now. It’s mammoth. Things with work scheduling, a dripping faucet, trip plans, family worries, money issues, and fixing home computers. And you scribbled notes on physical problems between the items; they’re all related and making everything worse. You’re not sleeping or eating properly and having stomach problems.

Ken: Correct. An abundance of things.

Christina: No wonder you’ve been having serial headaches the last couple of weeks. And I know you’ve been stuffing all those worries out of concern for me. My life has been exceptionally busy and stressful with school start-up—teaching two new courses, family issues, a collaborative play revving back up, the film project starting, a final course presentation, worrying about finishing my PhD., helping friends, social engagements…it’s crazy. And you always want to protect me from further worries—from what you consider to be “your problems.”

Ken: Correct. However, I believe that “crazy” to describe your life right now is an extreme understatement. As a man and your husband, my core tells me that I am supposed to be your support system, not a system of burden or burdens… but I am so tight right now that I am in physical pain. This occurs intermittently in life when things accumulate and I have nowhere to offload. The following link—which we recently discovered— has helped me to better understand what is going on, what to do about this, how to explain it, and how to ask for assistance: The Constant Demand, and what they DON’T SEE!

Christina: That’s a great explanation from another adult Aspie website. I want to actually copy a piece of it here now:

“They don’t see the tears.  They don’t see the meltdowns.  They don’t see the panic attacks.  They don’t see the bolting up in bed at night soaked in sweat, head reeling with all the things that are not done, and they don’t see that this ONE thing that you are doing so awesomely is the ONLY thing that you do because it takes every single thing that you have within you to do it!  They don’t see the costs…”

Not seeing what’s really going on with you is a constant risk to our relationship. And it’s reciprocal, of course—you also often don’t really see what’s going on with me. How can we? We have different wiring on TOP of the ordinary male-female evolutionary differences.

Ken: A very accurate, astute, and true assessment.

Christina: I know that feelings and emotions cause physical repercussions in you. Headaches that can turn into migraines, stumbling and tripping, inability to think straight. I often feel badly that I don’t immediately connect some of these symptoms to their root causes. I should know better by now. I’m still working on it. But at least I can head off most of my initial reactions, take some deep breaths, and talk with you—quietly explain what’s going on from my vantage point. That’s been my journey, to get to that point where I don’t commit a knee-jerk unkindness by forgetting that you and I are different; what things look like on the surface is usually NOT what’s happening, for both of us….

Ken: A knee-jerk unkindness is too often my reaction, and I would do well to emulate your example.

Christina: ….and so we stopped this incident pretty quickly—once you divulged it to me; we brought it to a happy ending over breakfast at Uncle Albert’s.

Ken: Affirmative. I showed you the list.

Christina: And I took it and started circling and categorizing the items: High, medium, and low priority. And I wrote a few ideas under each one about how we could handle it or why it can wait.

Ken: You did what I cannot do. And everything changed.

Christina: So, it’s better.

Ken: Absolutely. It may seem like an easy task, to create lists, to create a map to navigate by. However, to reiterate— for me there is no small stuff or big stuff, just a lot of stuff. So, I do not know where to start. This is your great gift to me: you know where to start. I am so grateful to have you and your skill set in my life. Life would be extremely difficult without you and them. Thank you.

Christina: I’m glad. And that was really a pretty easy fix. The key was for me to NOT assume that unkind response of yours was intentionally rude, callous, or a covert comment that my soup-making wasn’t valued.

Ken: It was none of that. It is constant fear of failure as a man and a husband. After all it is a very short journey from husband hasben (has been).

Christina: No. You were simply cognitively and emotionally overloaded, near the shut-down stage, from a burgeoning internal ‘to do’ list of what you felt as equal-priority things that you didn’t talk about in order to protect me.

Ken: Correct, unfortunately.

Christina: I’m glad we worked it out. And thanks for putting the soup away, after all!

Ken: You are welcome and it was absolutely delicious as always by the way.

 

Next Post: ~ To use or not to use Autism as a plot device?

“Autistic Community: Is It Possible?”

Diablogue #21

Adam, Christina & Ken at Adam's stand-up comedy show titled "Tale Of A Social Misfit" at the Edmonton Fringe Festival.
Adam, Christina & Ken at Adam’s stand-up comedy show titled “Tale Of A Social Misfit” at the Edmonton Fringe Festival.

Helpful Hint: Autism is neither a gift nor a curse. It’s just a difference. No more, no less. We need to get to that realization as a society.

 

So, let’s diablogue:

Christina: It was a rush when Adam came up to us in the pews before his show and said, “You’re the people who write the relationship diablogue.”

Ken: It was one of those little surprise treasure moments: “Who would have thought that we would meet one of our followers in Edmonton?!”

Christina: Right. I never put two and two together after we read and enjoyed Adam’s comments on our blog and then I saw the notice about his show, Asperger’s: A Tale of A Social Misfit, on the Autism Edmonton web site.

Ken: It was nice to see an autism advocate at work. I found his material to be very familiar and poignant and simultaneously sad and hilarious.

Christina: Yes, a lot of mixed feelings for you. But for me, it was mostly just delightful because he was so clever and funny—he had both of us laughing hard throughout. Everyone laughed a lot, but I think we had the inside track on some of his jokes.

Ken: I found myself laughing at him and with him as he was able to make me laugh at myself. It was cathartic.

Christina: Yeah, I think it affected me a little in that way too, since you and I struggle sometimes with the hard realities of autism. But his performance also made me like you more. Or EVEN more, I should say!

Ken: Specify?

Christina: Adam was up there being himself for 40 minutes nonstop, and everyone loved him. This rarely happens in quite the same way when you and I are out and about in the world. I mean, sometimes you are killingly funny or insightful about human foibles—especially your own. But it’s often hard work for you, and for me when I’m with you, to sustain lengthy social interaction with others—never mind being funny. Soon into almost any social interaction, we usually run into some kind of social discomfort—even if others don’t notice. So, being with an Aspie who was talking for 40 minutes straight with nothing going socially awry was just…. lovely.

Ken: Tell me more.

Christina: Of course the two situations are not the same: Adam’s crafted show poking fun at social awkwardness and you and I in a unscripted social situation with friends.

Ken: Correct.

Christina: But my point is just the relief and pure fun of that experience. His jokes were funny, but my smile the whole time was a reaction to the glee of being able to totally relax about autism, while talking about it openly.

Ken: Would I be correct by stating that for once, you were able to experience autism from the outside in rather than the inside out?

Christina: Yes! Good observation. For that 40 minutes, autism wasn’t something that I had to work at, or understand, or explain, or adjust to, but just appreciate—just enjoy Adam’s keen insights and his skill and success with his stand-up act.  Do you remember that one of the first things I said to you after the show was, “Could YOU do that?!… Please do that!”

Ken: I find that an awkward question. I could not do it the same way as him.

Christina: That will sound cold to some readers! But I know it isn’t to you–it’s neutral, unemotional data.

Ken: I realize how hard it is for you in social situations—and I am grateful that you are there, and not just bolting. You continue to persevere. Of course with Adam, we went to just listen, not dialogue. And that made it easy. Also, listening to another person on the spectrum gave me a message from a different point of view.

Christina: A message?

Ken: Each and every voice from a person impacted by autism is a new and different perspective and adds more to my understanding of autism.

Christina: So Adam’s show helped you understand yourself?

Ken: All information about autism, in its many different incarnation, helps me better understand myself and my place on the autism spectrum.

Christina: What was your biggest response by the end of his show? What feeling or what realization?

Ken: A very positive feeling because there was another person out there advocating and educating.

Christina: Me too. I felt that we were on the same team—him and us.

Ken: Agreed. However, one observation that I have made is that all of us—Adam, Temple Grandin, and the various autism groups we have connected with, are individual voices instead of a community of voices. Separately we’re out there advocating. We’re a bunch of individuals with the same goal—informing and educating others about the autistm spectrum. But we seem to be multiple voices operating individually rather than as a community.

Christina: I see. But “One Voice” isn’t what you’re getting at, I’m sure, right? Everyone does have unique experiences and perspectives…

Ken: Affirmative. There are many communities out there. For example the deaf have a community and a culture of their own. We, as people with autism, don’t seem to have that.

Christina: Right. And what could a community of people who are connected to autism—in any way— achieve that individuals or groups working alone cannot?

Ken: A community could find the middle ground between what seems to be polarized perspectives. We need to find the middle ground between various extreme views and opinions. It is a very complicated and stormy subject, so how do we calm the waters and move forward toward acceptance and understanding? We need to seek the messages that benefit the most people with the most accurate information and the widest possible collection of options. To do that, we need to find the middle ground.

Christina: Yes. We really don’t know much about autism yet. And I have a problem with the idea of polarities: positive and negative takes on autism. For me, for example, I carry both around every day all the time.

Ken: As do I. And within myself, because of that, I have found my middle ground. But my voice alone cannot speak for a community. It is a spectrum. I don’t have the answers, and I don’t think any of us will as long as we keep working alone.

Christina: Right. So, how can this “community” be accomplished, exactly?

Ken: A very good question. I’d like to hear from others out there about how. We need to figure it out together.  How do we dialogue and share rather than individually educate and inform?

Christina: Some kind of Autism Wiki? A massive chat room?

Ken: Two great ideas. We need as many as we can collect.

Christina: And then act.

Ken: Agreed. What appears to exist at the moment is many diverse parties who are self-advocating or using the term ‘self-advocate.’ In my view, the difficulty with the self-advocate stance is that we ourselves only have part of the information on autism and ourselves as individuals with autism. If we could form a community of advocates, I believe that we could not only effectively and expeditiously inform and educate more of the public, we could also do the same for ourselves.

Christina: Yes. And can you clarify to what end, in your view?

Ken: To further advance understanding, appreciation, and acceptance of people with differences.

Christina: Right. And I would add, celebrate and value what they have to offer. That’s far too rare.

Ken: I entirely concur with you on that.

Ken and Christina’s concluding message: If anyone sees value in the idea of forming a multi-voiced community of people who are autistic and who are close to autism, please let us know. Share your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions.

 

Next Post #22 ~ About the movie “Carrie Pilby” –the best autism film we’ve seen that never mentions autism.

“An Aspie’s Confounding Contradictions” 

Diablogue #17

Christina and Ken enjoy an outdoor Sunday brunch at Artisan restaurant on Whyte Avenue in Edmonton.
Christina and Ken enjoy an outdoor Sunday brunch at Artisan restaurant on Whyte Avenue in Edmonton.

Our intent is to publish once a week. However, sometimes too much is happening and Ken becomes overwhelmed. He needs to binge sleep instead of write. Our apologies. We will always try meet our commitment.

Helpful Hint: Contradictions are inevitable. However, with patience, perseverance, and help, there are ways to continually minimize their impact.

 

So, let’s diablogue:

Ken: I realize that contradictions are an inevitable part of my life. I continue to try to implement my own helpful hint. People cannot see the toll it takes on me to reconcile or explain the contradictions to people. It is exhausting, and sometimes it cannot be achieved. I do not know why most of them occur. But I am constantly looping them in my brain to try to find the reasons.

Christina: Like your extremely strong vocabulary, yet extremely weak spelling.

Ken: I first noticed that in school. One of the thrills of my childhood was closing my eyes, randomly opening the dictionary, and dropping my finger on a word. That was the word of the day for me. This was one way I attained my high vocabulary—through my fascination with words. However, in spelling tests or spelling bees, I usually could not spell the big words that I could speak, understand, and use in sentences.

Christina: And that’s still there today. Just today you wrote an email to me with ‘to’ in place of ‘two’ several times. You spell the way things sound—despite multiple exposures, you know, when you read, see signs, all the language everywhere—and you remember everything you see. So the spelling quirk is amazing to me.

Ken: Indeed this contradiction is still alive and well.

Christina: And you can’t explain it?

Ken: That is correct. Thank God for Spellchecker and Grammar checker.

Christina: Another contradiction is how you keep your workspaces at work so tidy, organized, and dust free. Yet your home workspace is a mess.

Ken: That is  true. The only theory that I can come up with is that I need to be organized in order to be focussed and efficient. I am not subject to the distraction of looking for my tools if it is organized. I keep it dust free for obvious reasons. There are many customers’ devices there, and I am not alone in that work environment. Regarding the difference at home, when my work day is over, I have nothing left in me to organize and clean. I just want to rest and refresh.

Christina: For the past 10 years? No chance to clean your space?

Ken: Then there are other things to do. It falls off the radar. Not a priority.

Christina: Well, I hope we can finally completely clean up your home office this summer and that you will keep it that way—now that things are settling at work and home.

Ken: That is indeed my desire also.  Speaking of my workspace, another contradiction I know I am guilty of is that I am generous and yet also extremely territorial. I surmise that is because generosity is by choice—I am aware when I loan something to someone. However, when someone takes something without asking, or without my knowledge, and I discover it gone, the demon of territorialism rears its ugly head.

Christina: And you don’t like being like that.

Ken: That is absolutely correct.

Christina: Like the time I went into your office when you weren’t home and took a power bar for my daughter. No big deal, I thought.

Ken: Later I discovered it was missing and asked if you have seen it. You told me you what you had done with it and I immediately went into internal orbit.

Christina: Not on the outside.

Ken: As often happens, there is an internal rage, but my immediate counter action is to exert extreme control, I do not let it out. Because I realize that this is ok, normal behaviour for nonspectrum people.

Christina: I was shocked when you told me how you had felt about that incident. How upset you were over a $3 power bar from the dollar store. Like, who cares?!

Ken: I was shocked also. And extremely embarrassed. Because of that incident and how close I came to losing control, I developed a workaround.

Christina: What is it?

Ken: I inform people of my peculiarly about borrowing things. I say, “You are free to use anything that I have as long as you ask me first, and when you are finished with it, you put it back exactly where you got it from.” Therefore, each of us is aware, and neither one of us ends up shocked, or shocked by the other’s reaction.

Christina: Well, after you explained this reality, I changed my behaviour too. I always tell you now, and no problem! …I think I told you that when we were thinking of this topic I went online and searched Asperger contradictions. Yours seem to be pretty common. It looks like lots of Aspies feel like walking contradictions. They mentioned things like being so kind in the world yet inadvertently unkind to individuals, finding it hard to start jobs then not being able to stop working, and hating interruptions yet always interrupting.

Ken: I find it reassuring to realize that I am not the only one struggling with these issues. Reading some of the other sites will give me new information and tools.

Christina: Ok, what next week?

Ken: Next week it will be the unintentional and hidden bias and torture by non-spectrum people towards those on the spectrum.

 

Next post #18 ~ Unintentional and hidden bias and torture of Aspies

“Awesome Aspects of an Autistic/Non-Autistic Alliance PART 2”

Diablogue #9

Christina and Ken at Pyramid Lake, Jasper
Christina and Ken at Pyramid Lake, Jasper

Helpful Hint: Celebrate the diversity of the alliance and focus on its strengths.

 

So, let’s diablogue:

Ken: One of the great benefits for me of having you, a non-aspie partner, is that you have the natural gifts of sociability. Most of us on the spectrum have challenges in this area. Where other people have given up, you just keep giving.

Christina: Giving?

Ken: You accept me for who I am and how I am, and you end up being my defacto advocate and interpreter.

Christina: I get it. Just like how you are always there for me in some of the ways I need—like calming me down when I get emotionally overloaded, or always being willing to come rescue me if I’m lost on the road somewhere. You appreciate me being there for you to rescue you in social situations—like tapping you on the arm when you’re talking for too long.

Ken: Absolutely. You are always there to help me with my socials skills, even when it becomes difficult and repetitive.

Christina: It’s a balance.

Ken: It is my opinion that each of us has strengths that shore up the other’s challenges.

Christina: Right. Like when we were in East Germany and we couldn’t find an English speaker at a train station. You kept working to solve the problem—finally translating word by word for the ticket person using the iphone translation app—while I collapsed in a puddle on the bench, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Ken: Thank you for noticing that trait in me. That I never stop trying and I never try stopping.

Christina: You are driven to solve problems—it is a massive gift in our lives and one of the best things about being in mixed brain marriage! Hey that’s cool—mixed brain. Shakespeare invented snow broth, I can invent mixed brain.

Ken: Mixed brain? (laughter) I do not know about that. Your brain may be mixed; mine is just mixed up.

Christina: (laughing) Ummm… isn’t that self-deprecation or the deficit model of autism creeping in here…?

Ken: No. As we stated in last blog’s helpful hint, a sense of humour is essential. If you are going to poke fun, then you must only poke fun at yourself. It is a vital survival trait for me to be able to laugh good-heartedly at myself.

Christina: Yes. Oh, another thing that makes it great being with you is your high standards for doing things. Like when we dug out the basement and you were down there on your knees for hours grading the gravel to a 4° angle all around the house with a garden trowel. Nobody on the planet would care so much—but we have a dry basement. Your personal standards make for slow progess sometimes. But I never have to worry about you slapping something together like my mom said my dad used to do—and then whatever he built fell apart.

Ken: I build things to stay together while I fall apart.

Christina: (laughs)

Ken: So many people have mistaken that drive for perfectionism, and perhaps it might be. That being said, my Aspie brain has two ways of doing things. Doing them correctly or incorrectly. I am wired to do them correctly; I cannot tolerate being incorrect.

Christina: Yeah. I know about the grey thing—how there’s no middle ground for you in anything. So, an “OK” job in any area is a failure to you. Unless it’s MY ok job! (laughter)

Ken: Definitely. These are my standards alone. It is my personal measuring stick. One of the things I admire about other people, however, is when they can stop when the truth is that good is good enough.

Christina: It’s great that you never push your standards on me or anyone. But I love being able to walk away at midnight, bushed, knowing whatever it is you’re working on will be perfect in the morning—though you might be dead!

Ken: To conclude—and to hopefully to return to this topic in the future—I would like to point out how your optimistic view of the world balances my pragmatism. It gives us many happy and light moments. Your optimism is contagious, and I prefer to go through life upbeat rather than beaten up.

Christina: Me too. Ok. What should we talk about next time?

Ken: How about the survival trait of humour and Aspies’ broad sense and use of it?

Christina: Sounds good.

 

Next Post: Diablogue #10 – “Humour and Aspies’ unique senses of it.”