Day: February 21, 2017

Diablogue #1:

Christina and Ken writing first post at Albert’s Restaurant in Edmonton.

Christina: So, I’m glad we finally started this.

Ken: I as well. Why don’t we let our readers in on why and how this evolved?

Christina: Ok. Since your diagnosis five years ago, autism has increasingly consumed our lives, our thoughts, and our conversations. Some of that has been positive. We’ve learned a lot about how to make our relationship work. It seem to be such a struggle for you, personally. You seem to be getting more frustrated and more isolated by your autism every day. 

Ken: That is a correct analysis.

Christina: You haven’t had any other outlet to manage or talk about it. So, I’ve been urging you to read about autism, watch movies on it, and maybe start a blog. I thought that would help you process and manage autism better. We would get more balance back as a couple, make our relationship less about ‘you’ and more about ‘us.’ The blog would get some conversations going that don’t involve me.

Ken: This blog is an excellent idea for those reasons. However, I think I will still need your help with navigating and decoding the social aspects of the blog. To organize it as it develops and to keep writing it every week.

Christina: Of course! That’s become our everyday rhythm, supporting each other like that. I’m excited about where this could go.

Ken: Through this blog we can both learn more about autism for our mutual benefit.

Christina: Yes. But I think you should be the driver, to take the lead.

Ken: Agreed. That way it will take the focus and pressure off you. At the moment, you are my sole lightning rod.

Christina: Some days it sure feels like that!

Ken: I also want to write this blog to connect with others, both on and off the spectrum, to share and to learn from and with them.

Christina: For sure. We have a lot to learn. I hope we connect with other couples like us. We could compare notes, learn other work-arounds, and have a good laugh about some of the crazy things that happen.

Ken: I concur. It is important because 80% of autistics never marry.

Christina: And I know why. This is hard work—but worth it.

Ken: Yes. And I am glad I am not one of those statistics. We have both gained much helpful data so far to explain it.

Christina: I know there are lots of other blogs on autism. But ours is a conversation, so I think it has something different to offer. It might interest anyone curious about autism or even just about communication across differences. Relationships too.

Ken: Agreed.

Christina: Why are you talking so formally if this is supposed to be a conversation?

Ken: This is how I always want to talk. This is how my ‘self’ or internal dialogue runs. Since I was young, I have always been criticized for the way that I speak. Since then I have self-censored my speech patterns in order to make it less formal. However, it has been my experience that informal language is less precise. That is lamentable. It has been my observation that precision and accuracy leads to fewer misconceptions and miscommunications.

Christina: Hmmm. Fascinating. I just learned something new about you—that you self-censor even in daily conversations with me. I think we should make that our next topic. Yes?

Ken: Agreed.

 

Next post, Diablogue #2: “About Talking.”